


Third Time's a Charm

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Fluff, High School, High School AU, Highschool AU, Human! Gabriel, Human! Michael, Human! lucifer, Hurt/Comfort, I have no idea, John doesn't give a shit, M/M, Michifer - Freeform, Sabriel - Freeform, Supportive! John, don't mind me, highschool, human! au, human! castiel, what the hell I'm doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:33:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8114791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Castiel Novak, junior, dorkiest guy at Lawrence High. Becomes unlikely best friends with Dean Winchester, star quarter-back, who's slept with nearly every girl at their school. But Castiel is not a cliché Gabriel Novak, Lawrence High's "Trickster." Sophomore, so has a crush on Sam Winchester, one of the smartest kids in their school. Best friends since birth. But how the hell do you tell you're best friend that you're in love with them? Lucifer Novak, the "Bad Boy," gets into fights, rules the school. Beocmes friends with Michael Milligan, straight-A student, the schools prized jock.





	1. Soft Hearts Electric Souls

**Author's Note:**

> This is also on Wattpad, under QuirkyAndPalmTrees mainly because I love palm trees and that was the first username I came up with

Castiel sucked in a large breath and stepped through the ugliest doors he'd ever seen. They used to be white, but seeing how this was a high school, with actual teenagers, it was old and faded, and dents and words written in Sharpie covered it.

As soon as he pushed the doors, he was met with the smell of the cafeteria and hundreds of different faces with different colored outfits and Castiel wanted to turn right back around when he caught the putrid smell of the school's mashed potatoes.

"Hey Castiel! Get over here!" He looked across the cafeteria at who had voiced the words and was met with the grinning face of his best friend, Charlie Bradbury. He nodded towards her, and started to the other side of the lunchroom.

As he walked, he caught bits of mindless chatter. "Why the fuck did you pour cold water on me, you squid fucker?" Was replied to with "Because you looked like you needed to cool the fuck down, love you too, motherfucker."

Castiel grimaced as he reached his lunch table. He sat down next to Charlie and nodded at everyone else. Because their highschool didn't have too many people, all the grades shared the lunch period. Which meant that not only Anna, Crowley, Raphael, Charlie, Kevin, Balthazar, Jo, and Ash were at the table with him, but also Sam, Gabriel, Lucifer, and Lucifer's new "friend" Michael. Who was totally fucking his brother in the janitors closet. (His brother was a bottom, Castiel was convinced)

"Hey bro." Gabriel said, sucking on a cherry lollipop.

"Hey," Anna said, her mouth full of burger. Castiel cringed.

"That's disgusting, Anna." Castiel stole a French fry from Charlie's lunch tray and popped it into his mouth.

"Ha! I don't give a fuck!" Anna said chewing with her mouth open now, and Castiel groaned.

"My kind of woman." Charlie said slinking over towards Anna. Sam was grinning and Castiel found himself asking how his brother was doing.

"He's great. I'm just waiting for him to break up with Lisa. It'll be any day now." Sam said, nodding confidently.

Castiel watched him amoosed. "You really don't like her, huh?"

Sam scowled. "She calls me Sammy. She's not allowed to call me that, only Dean's allowed to. And he's not even allowed to!"

"What!" Gabriel gasped. "But I call you Sammy!" He pretended to pass out on Sam, causing both of them to fall to the floor. "Sam! You were supposed to catch me." He huffed angrily, like a small child.

"And Gabriel." Sam said blushing on the floor. Charlie grinned and Sam took a large gulp of chocolate milk to avoid any of her questions.

"So, I hear you guys had a sleepover last night." Charlie said, sitting herself down across from Sam and Gabriel, once they regained their seats.

"Yeah." Sam deadpanned. "We've been best friends since preschool and we live next to each other. Our roofs are connected. We've been having sleepovers nearly every night for three years." 

Gabriel nodded enthusiastically. "We even marathon Shelrock together! If that's not friendship, I don't know what is."

"Yeah." Sam said glancing at her pointedly. "Whatever you're looking for, go bug somebody else." He stole a bite of Gabriel's pizza, and Charlie's grin grew wider.

"So nothing exiting happened?" She asked wiggling her eyebrows.

Sam snapped his fingers. "Yes! Actually. Sherlock jumps off a building."

"DUDE! I wasn't at that part yet! What? What the hell does that mean? He survived right...right? Answer me! Castiel, you've seen it! Tell me! You little shits! I hate you!" She froze and her face paled. "What-what about John?"

Sam just grinned. "Sammy! The feels! Why did you have to bring that up we only watched it last night, I'm going to cry again." Gabriel sniffled.

"Oh god, please no." Castiel jumped when Dean's voice popped up behind him. "I really don't want both of you to cry again. What is this, Sherlock season finale? What did he do, jump off a building?" Dean scoffed.

Sam gasped, and Gabriel let out a sob. Even Castiel winced. "Oh" Dean said his face draining of color. "He jumped off a building didn't he?"

Castiel slapped his arm. "How could you! I just got over it!" He put his head on the table and let out a sob. Dean patted his hair.

"Look at the bright side. "Now you know that John knows he's dead." Dean shrugged sitting down between Sam and Castiel, who lifted his head to glare at Dean, and then put it back down.

"WINCHESTER! I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET!" Charlie yelled.

Dean jumped. "Oops. You know, that's a uh, um, that's a really nice wall all the way over there, I'm going to go look at it, right now." He hurried away, Charlie's glare chasing him.

"I can't believe you guys." Charlie muttered. "He jumps. He jumps! Does he not love John? Don't answer that, he does, he just doesn't know it yet." She glanced at Castiel's head. "Your boyfriend sucks. And not just because he's a bottom."

Castiel's voice was muffled. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Sure. And George Washington was alive when they classified those fossils as dinosaurs. He wasn't alive for that by the way. He died twenty-five years before dinosaurs were classified." Charlie said sighing. "I'll just go cry. I'll see you later." She walked off and Castiel just watched.

"George Washington wasn't alive when they classified dinosaurs." Castiel said in a mocking voice. "He died twenty-five years before they were classified."

Lucifer and Michael just watched amused. "Gabriel's boyfriend drank all of Gabe's chocolate milk. He's going to be pissed when he realizes that."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Gabriel said rubbing his eyes. "Fuck. I forgot to sleep last night."

"Same." Sam said looking amazed.

"You were there! You cried with me when he jumped!" Gabriel accused. Sam shrugged.

"Not boyfriends my ass." Michael muttered, eating a large spoonful of mashed potatoes and nearly choking.

"Your ass, you say?" Lucifer said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up, you're obviously the bottom."


	2. Crossed Walk and Crossed Hearts

At the end of the day when classes let out, Sam was waiting in the cafeteria for Gabriel. It had become a regular thing for them. Ever since fifth grade when Gabriel had had to go to the nurse because he'd stapled his hand to get out of a test (Sam would've let him copy off his paper), and he'd waited in the cafeteria for he shorter teenager.

Sure enough, not even a minute later, the empty cafeteria echoes with "I have arrived! Now bow before me!"

"No thanks." Sam said. He was on the other side of the room as Gabriel, but since they were the only ones there, his voice bounces off the walls. 

"Aaayyyy, I know you!" Gabriel said, shooting Sam a grin while taking a running jump to slide across the table. He succeeded, but as it turned out, he didn't stop himself in time, so he slid right onto the floor.

"Ha!" Sam crowed. "That's what you get!" Gabriel glared at him. Sam grinned sheepishly. 

"Fuck you too, Samsquatch." He huffed, angrily stuffing a brownie in his mouth. Sam just raised his eyebrow.

Gabriel smirked and stuffed the rest in his mouth and nearly groaned. Sam snorted."You done yet?" He nodded his head towards the wall at the far side of the cafeteria. Gabriel glanced at the clock hanging up on the horribly-painted wall and grinned. "Ten seconds," he yelled jumping up. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six-"

"Gabe, there's still three-and-a-half minutes left until school's out." Sam interrupted, sitting down on a bench. 

Gabriel glared at him. "Don't rain on my parade, Samsquatch. I'm trying to be cool." 

"Uh yeah. And it isn't working." Gabriel sent him an incredibly offended look and put his hand over his heart. 

"What? What?! Me? Sam, I am so...so hurt by that. I thought..." He sniffled. "I thought we were friends. Best friends. Do you..." A faux dramatic look crossed his face. "Do you not love me?" 

"Of course not, sweetheart." Sam said dryly, and Gabriel let out horrified gasp. 

"You were supposed to say yes! Then, you should have apologized, and given me a ring!" He protested. 

"Wait!" Sam lifted his (incredibly) heavy bookbag on the table and dig around for a bit. Gabriel furrowed his brows and was about to say something but Sam held up a finger. 

"Ah ha! Found it." He held a paper clip up proudly.

"Yeah and that's...what it that?" 

Sam looked at Gabriel as if it were obvious. "It's a paper clip Gabe. What the hell did you think it was?" 

"Yes. I got that. I meant why did you take that out?" Gabriel said rolling his eyes.

Sam sighed. He turned around and Gabriel briefly wondered what he was doing. But as soon as the thought appeared, Sam turned back around and produced something from his hand. Gabriel looked at it suspiciously.

"It's a ring! There. Now I don't have to apologize. Well, I wasn't going to anyways, because to apologize you have to be sorry, and I'm not sorry. But TADA!" Sam presented the ring and bowed.

Gabriel squinted and huffed. "Where are the diamonds?" 

Sam's mouth fell open. "How dare you? That was...that was my last paper clip!" 

"You liar! I can see a whole fucking pack in your bookbag!" Gabriel accused. 

"Well....that's irrelevant." Sam said, waving it off."

"You're a really good liar, you know that? I knew there was always a reason I kept you around." Gabriel grinned.

Sam paused. "Is that the only reason you hang out with me? Because I'm smarter than you? What are you going to do, steal my brain?"

"Well..not anymore."

"Gabe!"

"Fine. Also because your brother has a nice car."

Gabriel laughed and ducked as Sam swatted his hand at the back of his head. "Kidding! I like my brother's car."

Sam snorted. "Which one? You've got like, a bazillion brothers."

Gabriel grinned. "Hey, Lucifer's the only one that actually passed the test, the others just did it for...reckless social suicide via car. You should have been there for Castiel's. I think he hit several old ladies. He ran into a fucking light post. Twice. The same post within thirty seconds."

"Oh no, is it okay?" Sam asked frowning.

"What, Castiel? He's fine, he just did it for laughs." Gabriel peered over at Sam. "You were there when Balthazar dared him, remember."

Sam cringed. "All I remember is Balthazar in a crop top. Please, no. And I don't care about Castiel, I meant the light post. Castiel's pretty reckless at driving." He glanced at the clock and stood up, hefting his bookbag on his shoulders. 

"Oh yeah. They took down the light post. Poor thing, it had a massive dent in it. We dug it out of the scrapyard and gave it to Castiel for his birthday. That was when Dad decided to just give up and accept us for who we are." Gabriel grinned. "It's in his room."

"Is that what that was?' Sam frowned. "I thought that was some kind of weird hammer-punchy-thingy."  (And the author decided that the bell will now ring, as she has no idea what to do next.)

Sam, bolted for the door, leaving Gabriel in the dust, as he stared at Sam's retreating back with a shout of "traitor!"and "uncultured swine."

Sam's laugh echoed and Gabriel grinned, chasing after him.

Dean was watching them as he walked towards Baby by himself. He was about to shout to them, when he heard something. He whirled around, prepared to find a strangled goose, or something that was able to make such a horrible sound, but nope.

Instead, it's just Charlie. She's talking with Castiel. Dean doesn't really know Charlie. He's seen her around a couple of times, but it's usually either in computer class or with the Novak's, because let's be real. Half the school is made up of their crazy, extended family. 

"No, but her face!" He hears Charlie choke out between her laughter. 

"Yes! And-and her purse though!" Castiel dissolved into laughter, and Dean can barely make out the words, he's laughing too hard. "You should've seen...Gabe's face." Another stream of laughter came out, and Charlie grinned. "He...he went crazy. Lisa is totally going to regret calling Gabriel pathetic." 

Dean clenched his teeth. How dare they make fun of his girlfriend? Sure, she was annoying, and needy and incredibly clingy, but it was probably the stress from school. 

'Yeah, that's it.' Dean tried to convince himself. But he had a hard time believing that, and the dreading feeling in his stomach was just making him more nervous. 

'Maybe she isn't the one.' Dean shook his head as soon as the thought popped up. He and Lisa were meant to be together, he knew it. He never really understood why his parents didn't really like her. Mary and John just put on a fake smile and Sam went up to his room from the second she came over to the second she left.

"Hey Ass-tiel!" Dean heard Castiel groan as Gabriel popped up beside them, Sam by his side. Dean made himself invisible, because he really didn't want to be any part of what's currently happening. When there are Novak's, there trouble right around the corner.

Sure enough, not even three seconds later, Gabriel asks a question that makes Dean choke, as well as Sam and Castiel. "Would you fuck a watermelon for a million bucks?" 

Charlie snorted and turned to Castiel. "Yeah. Would you?" 

He grinned at her, flashing his straight, white teeth. "Firstly, no. Secondly, I may be a potato, but I have standards. Why the hell do we need another million dollars? We're already rich." 

Gabriel shrugged. "Conversation starter."

Castiel stared. "You're my brother. We both got thrown in jail for the neighbors thinking we're devil worshippers after yelling for Lucifer to stop being a sadist and watching marshmallow people melt in the microwave several times. What do we need a conversation starter for?"

Gabriel sighed and waved his hand. "Details!" He leaned in closer to Castiel and Dean watched amoosed. "Lucifer, uh...it's his turn to cook dinner. Dad wants to know if we want to go out to eat instead."

"Um, hell yes. There's no way I'm letting Lucifer cook dinner after last time." Castiel shuddered and Dean briefly wondered what could of happened, though with all the times he's seen smoke coming out of the window, he wasn't surprised. 

"Pizza night?" Gabriel asked, glancing up hopefully.

"Pizza night." Sam confirmed.

"Pizza night." Charlie also confirmed.

~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~

"This is delicious pizza." Castiel noted as he munched on his slice of cheese pizza.

"I second that!" Sam chimed, taking a large bite out of his pepperoni slice. Gabe leaned over and took a huge bite of it. 

"Mm!" He smacked his lips after he swallowed. "It is delicious, Sammich! Thank god, Luci didn't make dinner."

"Ew, dad is that pineapple?" Anna wrinkles her nose. "That's discusting."

Check rolled his eyes. "No Anna, maybe if you tried it, it wouldn't be so bad. It certainly beats your brothers cooking."

"Hey!" Lucifer protested, waving his second slice of sausage pizza. "I'm not that bad!" 

Castiel sighed. "The poor, naive child. He thinks he's not bad at making food."

"What...what's so bad about it?" The dark-haired kid looked around the table with wide eyes.

Chuck squinted. "Who are you again? I count my kids daily, and I only have five." 

Anna's mouth dropped open. "Five? Dad! There's eight of us!" She pointed around table. "Lucifer, me, Cassie, Gabriel, Sam, Charlie, Crowley, and Balthazar. I think. Did I miss anyone?"

"Hey Chuck." Balthazar waved.

"Balthazar, I'm your father. You're supposed to call me dad." 

Castiel glanced around the table. "I'm pretty sure you got every-Raphael! You're here!" Raphael waved. 

"Yeah, cool, but you're not my kid are you?" Chuck asked watching the dark-haired kid.

"That's Michael. He's my partner." Lucifer said, happily munching on his fourth slice. 

"Ooh! Partner, eh?" Gabriel said wiggling his eyebrows causing Lucifer to choke on his slice. Anna slapped him on the back and glared at Gabriel who just grinned shamelessly. 

"I meant for science, you shitnugget." Lucifer rasped, coughing. He leaned over for the pizza box and reached for his fifth slice. 

"It's science all right." Castiel said, looking at Michael appreciatively. 

Lucifer glared at him. "Back off, he's my partner not yours." He turned to Michael. "Don't worry, they're always like this."

"Yeah, and that's not worrying at all." He said rolling his eyes.

"Ooh, sassy! Me likey!" Gabriel remarked. He leaned across the table until Anna shoved a scalding slice into his face causing him to shriek, and Sam to laugh hysterically, not missing Anna's shout of "you've already got Sam!" Michael cracked a grin.

"Here, here, don't attack Anna, I have a napkin-NO! GABRIEL, I SAID NO! HOE DON'T DO IT!" Sam jumped up as Gabriel leaned towards Anna. 

Gabriel picked up his glass of water and tossed the water towards her. She just casually stepped to the side and gave him an unimpressed look. "Shit." He said looking at the puddle. "Now I've got to clean it up." 

"Have fun." Sam said grinning.

"No, don't leave me! Sam-SAM!"

~

Fun Fact of the Day: If you eat half a jar of pretzels from Costco with grape juice on an empty stomach, you will feel like puking.


	3. Fifty Words for Murder

"Novak and Winchester." 

Dean sighed and turned his chair around to face the sex-haired dorky nerd wearing a Doctor Who shirt which made him look sexy as hell and showed off his pale collarbone just begging for a hickey, who was also sitting behind him. "Hi."

"Hello." Castiel peered at him with his electric blue eyes behind the thick, black rimmed glasses and his thick black hair sticking up, and Dean silently cursed himself.

"Guess we're partners, eh?" Dean said awkwardly.

"It would seem so." Castiel said bored. He glanced out the window wistfully. "Okay." He said turning back around after a few seconds. "What're we doing again?" 

Dean sent him an amused look. "You really don't listen, do you?" 

"It would seem that I don't." Castiel sent him a pleased grin, and Dean snorted.

"You're such a dork." He commented. 

Castiel looked up and Dean swore that his eyes were predatory. "According to the dictionary, a dork is someone who does not care what others think while being themselves, and is someone who has silly and has odd interests."

"Sassy." Dean muttered sitting down on Castiel's desk. He took out a piece of bubblegum. "What dictionary is this?"

Castiel plucked it out of his fingers and stuffed it into his mouth. "Thanks, get the hell off my desk, and the Urban Dictionary." Castiel put the gum wrapper on the desk. "I'm cool." He said proudly. 

Dean's mouth dropped open. "Dude! That was my last piece!" He crossed his arms and pouted. "And thank god, I thought you meant like, an actual dictionary. And for the record, you're not cool."

Castiel snorted. "Like I'm socially suicidal. If you want that, go to Kevin."

"Hey!" A voice shouted from the other side of the room. Castiel winced. "Sorry Kev!"

Castiel turns back around and widely grinned at Dean. Which slightly creeped him out. "I am only here to grace you with my presence. Is it working?"

"Why yes. It is." Dean smirked. "It's working wonderfully." He was pleased to see Castiel's dejected face.

"Dang it. You're not supposed to respond like that." Castiel grumbled, crossing his arms and pouting.

"What can I say?" Dean said winking. "I don't play by the rules, babe." 

"Apparently." Castiel said, still grumbling.

~  
~

"And that's the story of how we're not allowed to go to the Roadhouse for breakfast anymore because Gabriel always deepthroats the sausages." Castiel said popping a french fry in his mouth.

Gabriel's face turned red. "That was one time! And it was on a dare! From you and Sammy!" 

Castiel glanced over at him. "It was every single time we went, and dad paid Ellen not to let us through those doors." 

"What's happening?" Dean asked, sitting himself down between Sam and Castiel. He glanced at the pizza on Castiel's tray, but Castiel glared at him and Dean grinned sheepishly.

"Gabriel deepthroats sausages." Charlie hummed, and Dean nearly choked on air.

"No I don't!" Gabriel protested, red-face game still strong.

"Mm. Sure." Castiel said ignoring him. "Did you know that there is a type of parasite that is only able breed sexually in the guts of a cat?" 

Gabriel and Sam facepalmed, while Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Um," Dean blinked. "I did not." 

"Well you do now." Sam said clapping him on the back. "Welcome to Table MDS-666. Where there are weird facts, Satan jokes, very likely future flaming homosexuals and dorks. Who are almost all rich. So make a good impression." Sam hissed the last part to Dean under his breath and then straightened up and smiled.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, while Dean looked around the table, which was now dubbed as MDS-666. The Satan one was sitting with a dark haired guy Dean had seen before in the locker rooms. Balthazar, Dean was only 48.57 percent sure that was his actual name, was chugging down what suspiciously looked like shots in a water bottle cap, with the British dude cheering him on. He heard Castiel mutter "Shots! Shots! Shots!" under his breath and sighed.

Jo and Anna were discussing Jo's knife collection with Ash occasionally chiming in, and honestly, what the actual fuck, my parents won't let me have a knife collection! That's not fair! Gabriel and Sam were intent on stealing all the food they could manage, and Dean was pretty sure it was just stuff in general they were stealing, because he saw a kazoo in Gabriel's fist and Sam had a bottle of freshly-picked orange scented perfume. Castiel and Charlie were completely geeking out over the show called Sherlock again, and Dean honestly couldn't understand it if he tried too. 

"So, Dean. Wouldn't you agree that Moriarty needs a boyfriend?" Dean looked at Castiel and then at Charlie, then to Castiel and then back to Charlie. 

"...What?"

Castiel sighed impatiently, giving him the 'I don't have time for your shit, Dean' look. "Moriarty. Wouldn't you agree that he needs a boyfriend?"

"Um, yeah. Totally. Whatever will hurt me less. Sure." Dean said nervously, because he'd seen firsthand what happened to people who tended to disagree with Novaks. (It was mainly Gabriel and Sam who weren't related to each other by blood yet, but he sure as hell wasn't taking any chances.)

"He would look good with a boyfriend." Charlie said thoughtfully.   
~  
~  
Clang! Clang! Clang!

"Shut the fuck up Gabe!"

"FUCK OFF, DEAN-O!"

Dean groaned and rubbed his forehead. Gabriel was currently running around the big-ass four story house banging two metal pots together. 

Lucifer growled from the couch where he was sitting next to Michael watching Mulan, because according to Satan, "Mulan is a good-ass movie with a good-ass soundtrack that I memorized and it sure as hell ain't going to waste and the intro theme is also badass and I want to hear it again, but I couldn't find it on YouTube so here we are." Dean full-heartedly agreed.

After an hour of continuous screaming, everybody being showered in glitter thanks to Sam, someone "accidentally" falling down three flights of stairs and Lucifer singing along to the Mulan soundtrack at the top of his lungs, Sam managed to chase down Gabriel and trap in a hallway.

"This ends now." Sam said, advancing on the short, candy loving trickster.

"No! It doesn't have to end like this!" Gabriel said dramatically. He fell to the floor and pretended to collapse, only opening one eye to glance at Sam. "Was that good?" 

"Brilliant." Sam said as Gabriel stood back up. "But! I cannot let your reign over this land continue. I must end you, I have no other choice."

"Bitch, try me." Gabriel scoffed, and Sam took a running leap towards him. He managed to land on top of Gabriel, causing him to yelp and fall back again and Sam smirked. 

"Bitch has succeeded." They both paused to catch their breaths for a few seconds, before Sam realized what position they were in. He was practically covering Gabriel's body with his own and his face was right below Sam's. The only thing that was stopping him from squashing him was Sam holding himself up with his arms. The Winchester drew in his breath and looked down at Gabriel who hadn't noticed yet.

But he saw the way Gabe's eyes shifted form amusement to confusion to shock. "Um." 

Sam looked down at him. "Um." He glanced at Gabriel's face again, and he could practically count the golden flecks in his whisky eyes. "Fuck." Sam muttered when he heard footsteps down the hallway.

When Dean arrived and saw them, his mouth just dropped open. "Um, wow. Okay. Cool. But...the floor? The FLOOR?!" 

For a minute Sam was confused until he understood what Dean was hinting at, and his face turned red. "DEAN!" He jumped off of Gabriel, and awkwardly stood up glaring at Dean, partly so he wouldn't have to look at Gabriel to see his reaction. 

"Wait...so you weren't...? Then why the fuck were you on the floor?" Dean asked confused.

"I wasn't. That never happened. Bye." Sam pushed past Dean to go back downstairs and watch Castiel make heart eyes at a tub of ice cream, or Lucifer singing defeating Huns.

"Yeah." Gabriel said, clearing his throat and getting up. "I'm going to go watch my brother pretend to be straight."

"Which one?" Dean asked.

Gabriel snorted. "All of them."  
~  
~

Btw, I specially chose out the letters MDS because they sound nice together, but I'm also too lazy to look up if it stands for anything.  
~  
Fact of the Day: Yeah, so like, without the food coloring in Coca-Cola, it would have originally been green. So uh, yay artificial cheese! I love cheesits and Doritos. Even though i prefer the cool ranch to the nacho cheese.


	4. Everybody's Looking for Something

Lucifer did not appreciate his youngest brother ruining his favorite movie. At all.  "I'll crush that fucking fuck-faced fucker!" He roared, jumping up and chasing after Gabriel. Gabriel, almost an hour later, was still going strong, crashing two metal pasta pots together.

"No, Lucifer-NO! LUCIFER NOVAK, SIT THE HELL BACK DOWN, PUN FUCKING INTENDED!" Michael yelled, grabbing Lucifer's shoulder. He yanked the hellspwan back down to the couch and sighed and patted his shoulder. "It'll be okay one day. You can live alone and watch Mulan every day of your life. And live off of instant noodles."

"That sounds nice." Lucifer mused, calming back down. "Wait, no!" He froze, panicking and standing up again. "I-I don't know how to cook! I can't cook worth a shit! I'm going to die! How am I supposed to survive for the rest of my life when I accidentally set my cereal on fire this morning?!" 

Michael sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "We'll burn that bridge when we get there." He looked over at Castiel who was on the other couch and mouthed the words 'help!' 

Castiel just glared and turned back to his phone. "No, Castiel, you're supposed to help!" Michael called. The clanging stopped all of a sudden and Michael breathed a sigh of relief.

Castiel's phone rang and Charlie's voice blared out. "What happened! Update me!" 

"Well, Lucifer's singing along to Mulan," Castiel said ignoring Lucifer's raised eyebrow. "Sam and Gabriel are somewhere probably exploding the attic again, that good looking dude named Michael is also here." At this Lucifer's eyebrow raised higher.

"And Dean is-Dean what are you doing?" Castiel turned his head over the top of the couch towards the kitchen where Dean was digging around the freezer. 

"Pie!" 

"Oh, of course. Dean is looking for pie." Castiel informed Charlie over the phone.

"What are Sam and Gabriel doing specifically?" Charlie asked. There was a crash in the background and Charlie's furious muttering. 

"Goddammit! Fucking grapefruits, nobody likes them." Michael heard her kick the grapefruit and a yelp. "How dare you, you goddamn useless sugar-less fruit that nobody likes, freaking nuisance,   
nobody likes you, you're hated everywhere."

Castiel sighed and turned to the teenager raiding the kitchen. "What're Sam and Gabriel doing, specifically?" 

"I dunno. Summoning Bloody Mary and stuffing her in a confetti cannon." Dean shrugged. He shoveled a large spoonful of pie in his mouth and smacked his lips. "This is really good, who made this?" 

"I did. Stop eating my food." Castiel said turning back to his phone. "Yeah, I dunno what they're doing."  
~  
~

Gabriel Novak was not often wrong. In fact, he couldn't remember a time when he was wrong.

"Gabe, you're always wrong. In fact, I can't remember a time when you were right." Sam said. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Stop exaggerating, Samsquatch. This'll be great." He was currently standing in front of the oven with a bag of cookie dough. 

"No, Gabe, I don't think you understand. This is a really bad idea." Sam said eyeing the oven worriedly.

Gabriel sighed. "Look, we put half of the cookie dough in the oven for three minutes at like, 500 degrees, instead of ten or whatever minutes, and we eat other half while we're waiting! It's foolproof!" 

Sam shook his head. "Why not, it's not like this is my house." 

"That's the spirit!" Gabriel beamed as he shoved the  cookie dough in on a metal plate, Gabe, this is a fucking horrible idea, and into the oven. He closed the door and did some fancy stuff with the fancy oven cause once again, they're rich. 

"I have no clue how to fucking do this." Gabriel said randomly twirling a knob on the stove. 

Sam shrugged and set aside the leftover dough. "The old trial and error ought to work." 

"What's the worst that can happen?" Gabriel asked, stuffing a ball of raw cookie dough in his mouth. "Mm, this is delicious."

"No shit, it's cookie dough, what'd you think it was, spinach?" Sam said through a mouthful of chocolate chips.

"Well," Gabriel shrugged. "I think our Aunt Naomi tried that once. Remember her?" 

Sam snorted. "Wasn't she the one that tried to convince your dad to send you to a private school so you'd behave?" 

"That's her! It uh, didn't work out. Somebody stuffed a badger in her purse and she left right afterwards." Gabriel grinned.

"That was me, dipshit." Sam huffed. He was about to open his mouth when the oven made a horrible beeping sound.

"Ooh, it's ready!" Gabriel said happily and he quickly opened the door, which let out a large amount of black smoke. Gabriel quickly recoiled and shook his hand to get rid of the burning feeling. He glanced inside and stared at the plate in the oven without moving, his face quite still.

"Gabe? What happ...ened?" Sam coughed and waved the black smoke away from his face and hurried next to Gabriel. When he looked into the oven, his face went slack and he stared at the now black plate with something undistinguishable on it.

"Holy shit, we fucked up bad." Sam said, finding his voice. Gabriel just nodded, not able to say anything. 

"Why is the fire alarm going off-Holy shit, you guys fucked up bad!" Dean remarked walking into the kitchen. He took one look at the oven and snorted. "Really bad." 

"What happened?" Castiel asked, also walking in. "Is that...is that my cookie dough?" He glared at Gabriel, but Gabriel still wasn't moving, so Sam took the liberty of answering for him. 

"Well, look at the bright side. Now it's not cookie dough anymore." Sam awkwardly did a jazz hands. 

"How the fuck is that a bright side?!" Castiel said, his glare slowly shifting from Gabriel to Sam. Dean looked between the three of them trying to figure out what was going on.

Sam just weakly laughed. "Where's the optimism here?" Dean opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it.

"It died along with my cookies!" 

"Same." Lucifer remarked walking past them.   
~  
~  
~  
Chuck Novak was usually used to whatever his kids got up too. This did not always include Gabriel and Sam stealing fish from a seafood place downtown and then getting thrown in juvy for it, while Chuck had to bail them out. He did however suspect that it had something to do with them when the officer found a dead fish under his seat in his car.

It also did not include Lucifer getting on the news, and using his one phone call to call him ("Hey dad, Channel 6! I'm on"), for going around with numerous (hundreds) "Vote Lucifer to Rule the World" signs and pinning them up like flyers on the door of the church.

Or Castiel and Anna and Charlie with their "Peaceful Protesting." Apparently, peaceful protesting included letting a honey badger loose in the school office after the principal refused to let them have extra mozzarella sticks. (Chuck had later found out that it wasn't one, but three, if the news and the phone call were anything to go by).

So when he got home and saw the black smoke and the fire alarms, he wasn't surprised. "Gabriel, what did you do this time?" 

"What?! Why is it always me that's accused of everything?!" Gabriel asked stomping through the hallway.

"That might be because it was you, Gabriel." 

"Fuck you, Asstiel. Why isn't it ever Lucifer? Almost everything's his fault!" Gabriel said pouting and crossing his arms. 

Chuck sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Gabriel, don't call your brother that, Castiel, no middle fing-LUCIFER! NO, DO NOT HIT HIM WITH A LAMP, WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT, WE DON'T EVEN OWN A LAMP LIKE THAT!" 

Gabriel whirled around to see Lucifer with a lamp over his head. "What the hell! Luci!" 

Chuck sighed. 'Used to it, my ass.'

 

Fact of the Day: Harry Potter is awesome. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.


	5. We Don't Know How to Quit No More

"Aaayyyyyyy!" Castiel said, pointing finger guns at Dean. "I know you!" 

"Aaaaayyyyyyyy! I know you too!" Dean said, pointing finger guns back.

"Aaayyyyyyy, leave your boyfriend alone." Anna snapped. She glared at Castiel.

Dena leaned over and muttered into Castiel's ear. "Who pissed in her Cheerios?" 

"She's just frustrated. And she doesn't like Cheerios." Castiel informed him. "And he's not my boyfriend." He said to Anna.

She snorted and muttered angrily in her scrambled eggs. Dean edged away from her and closer to Castiel. "Why does she hate me?"

"She's upset because some celebrity is thinking about quitting her favorite show to play in some action movie series she doesn't like." Castiel hummed. 

"Maybe she just doesn't like your humongous ego?" Sam suggested, sitting down next to Dean. Dean gasped and put his hand over his heart. 

"I am wounded-you see this? This is me, with a broken heart. You hurt me, here." He dramatically fell into his plate of bacon and pancakes. 

Dean then sat up and pointed at his chest and Sam rolled his eyes. "What heart? You mean the nonexistent one?"

"Yeah, that would be the one." Dean said grinning. Sam followed his gaze to see an apple pie sitting on the Novak's kitchen counter and groaned. 

"Hoe don't do it." Gabriel said sucking a lollipop.

"Dean, this is breakfast! You are not devouring that pie at six am." Sam said, making bitch-face number thirty-two (don't eat the fucking pie). 

"Wanna bet?" Gabriel said leaning towards Sam. "I say he can't last before seven."

"Six thirty." Sam said shoveling half a pancake in his mouth. 

"Deal." 

Dean glared at them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I told you." Sam said staring at what was left of the pie. There was an empty plate with only a few crumbs and a fork on it.

"Damn. Your brother may have a problem." Lucifer remarked as he stared at the remains. "You just wait until Cassie finds out Dean ate his pie." 

"Oh yeah. Dean's a goner." Gabriel hummed thoughtfully. "Cassie's a competitive fucker, who loves to eat." 

"Honestly same though." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dean. Did you eat my pie which took me seven and a half hours to make?" 

Dean nervously grinned at the sex-haired teenager who was currently glaring at him and wondered if he had enough time to jump through the window. "Uh...no?"

"I'm going to torture you so slowly that you will be begging for me to kill you. No one in the history of torture's been tortured with torture like the torture you'll be tortured with." Castiel promised darkly.

"That's my line!"

Chuck face-palmed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dean's going to die." Michael said watching his future-little-brother-in-law chasing his other future-little-brother-in-law through the house, Dean screaming bloody murder. Sam and Gabriel were sitting beside them also watching.

"I told you he was dead." Gabriel muttered and Sam nodded in agreement, silently wondering why his life was so weird.

"Cas! You-you don't want to do this buddy, right? Right....Oh god, I'm not right-AAAAHHHHH, CAS!"

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Help," Dean coughed weakly. "Please." 

Sam stared at his brother who was lying on the ground and turned to Gabriel. "Pay up."

"What? It's-it's-what's the time?" 

Sam glanced at a wall. "Ten after seven."

"So I won!" Gabriel protested.

"Nah, it took about a half hour to make Dean suffer." Sam said grinning. He smirked down at his brother who was coughing. 

Gabriel grouched and slapped five dollars in Sam's hand. He glared at Dean who was still groaning on the ground. "Hoe, I told you not to do it."

Dean just glared. "The fucker shoved me down the stairs!"

"You deserved it."

~~~~~~~~~~~  
(Oh my god, we were out of school all week for Hurricane Mathew, but nothing happened to us but half the people in our county had it really bad and they dont have power so we had no school for a whole week. I'm not complaining, but I'm the WORST procrastinator EVER, so I got nothing out of my shit ton of homework done, ALL WEEK AND IVE GOT SO MUCH STUFF DUE TOMORROW. And there's this horrible grammar shit that is ever sly suck at and it's literally the last day, but here I am, writing for you guys)  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
"We need another prank." Gabriel stated, throwing a soggy french fry at Sam's face.

Sam let it drop to the floor and gave him an unimpressed look. "Another one? That's what, third one is a week?" 

"Yeah." Gabriel said, grinning mischievously. "And I know who." He got up and started walking out the room, but he slipped on the french fry and fell, while simultaneously making it a much bigger deal than it actually was.

"Sam!" Gabriel coughed. "Sammy, if I don't...if I don't make it...tell...." He gasped for another breath. "Tell-I need you to tell...."

"Tell who what, Gabe?" Sam asked impatient. "I will leave you here." 

Gabriel stared Sam into the eyes and grinned. "Tell Luci he's an asshole for taking my last piece of bubblegum."

Sam rolled his eyes and got up, walking out.

"Wait! Where are you going? Come back here and give me attention!"

~~~~~~~~~~~

"How have I never noticed you?" Dean asked staring at Castiel in English class. "We sit next to each other." 

Castiel shrugged. "It's not like I noticed you either."  He looked around. "Goddamnit, I'm hungry." 

"Then eat something." Dean suggested, leaning back and putting his feet on the desk. 

"Boy, get your feet off that desk, or I will whack you with a spoon." The teacher glared at Dean and smacked the back of his head with a stack of papers.

Dean flushed. "Sorry Miss Moseley." Castiel laughed and Dean shot him a glare and instantly put his feet back on the ground underneath his desk.  "Stop laughing at me!" 

"I don't think I will." Castiel grinned. He pulled a granola bar out of his binder because he learned from Gabriel that you don't leave useful stuff in your locker, if there's a couple tricksters on the loose. He picked a chocolate chip out and flicked it at Dean. And Dean flicked it back, until Miss Moseley smacked him with a bigger stack of papers.

Dean Winchester had not yet learned to protect his stuff. Which was why when he opened his locker at the end of the day he stood still for a couple of seconds. When he turned around to stare at Castiel,  he had spray paint all over his face and hair. Rainbow spray paint. 

"Oh wow!" Castiel said staring at the yellow on his chin.

"Fuck off." Dean muttered. Castiel personally thought Dean looked better with pink hair.

He looked at the can. "Goddamnit!" Dean shouted, yanking the spray cans out of the locker. "It's permanent!"

Castiel just snickered. "I think you deserve it."

~~~~~~~~~~

"Those fuckers." Dean said trying to scrub it off in there bathroom with a wad of wet paper towels. "I will hurt them so bad." He gave a particularly hard scrub to his blue-green cheek and let out a yelp when it hurt him more than he anticipated.

Castiel watched him amused. "I don't see why you can't just prank them back." 

Dean paused in the middle of scrubbing his yellow forehead and looked at Castiel out of the side of his eye. "I didn't know you had the ability to joke."

Castiel glared at him, offended. "Fine then, leave that pink in your hair." He grabbed one of the bottles of spray paint that Dean had gotten out of his now brightly colored locker, and sprayed the pink at back of Dean's head. 

Dean froze. "No. No. Is there really still stuff in there? Let me see!" He attempted to wrestle the bottle away from Castiel who just handed it over.  
Dean inspected the bottle, muttering. "No, no way, I checked to make sure it was empty." He looked up at Castiel. "This means war." 

He leaped towards Castiel who scrambled backwards. "Don't touch me Dean! I'm not getting paint all over me!"

Dean cackled. "Then you shouldn't have sprayed me!" He jumped in front of the Novak and pressed down on the nozzle and aimed towards Castiel. A large cloud of paint came out and landed directly on Castiel's front causing Dean to laugh.

"Nooo!" Castiel wailed. "Dean! I just bought this shirt!" He made a horrified face in the mirror and stuck his middle finger up at Dean without even turning to look at him. 

"Bull. You had that shirt when you were thirteen years old." Dean snorted. He shook the can and sprayed Castiel once more for good measure, this time including his whole face. 

Castiel let out a small scream and rushed in front of the mirror, dropping his jaw. "Dean. My entire face is purple." Castiel looked at himself. Clearly the bottle hadn't been empty when Dean had checked it, because half of it when on Castiel's face alone.

"Purple's a good color on you." Dean winked. "If you know what I mean." 

Castiel glared and threw a conveniently located pencil at him. 

Dean grinned and laughed. Castiel kept the glare up for a couple seconds before he joined Dean and that was the story of how Kevin Tran found them pointing at each other and high on laughter in the middle of the period.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey mom." Dean grouched, walking though the doorway after Mary made way for him. 

She raised her eyebrows at her sons face. Dean caught her confused and slightly amused face and quickly walked into the kitchen. "Dean."

"Mom." Dean said, intentionally not looking at his mother.

"Dean." 

"Sam-I-am." Sam said popping up from behind the counter with a plastic bag of JellyBeans.

"Leave." Dean glared and Sam positively cackled when he caught sight of Dean's face. 

"Oh wow, what happened to you?" Sam grinned at Dean.

"It was you!" Dean shouted outraged. "I'll hurt you, you know that shortstack?" 

"Well who else would." Sam said gleefully. Dean leaped towards him and Sam let out a shout and ran to hide behind his mother.

"Sam, go find someone else's life to ruin. Dean, honey, please tell me that isn't permanent, you know I need you to go shopping for groceries for dinner." Mary said, still looking amused. 

"Mom! Not like this!" 

"Yes like this. I expect you to have the groceries by seven." Mary put her hands on her hips. "And leave your brother alone, Dean."

Dean sputtered out meaningless words while Sam just smirked at him. "I'm going to kill you." Dean promised. Sam looked a bit hesitant and Dean took advantage of that, chasing after him.  
~~~~~~~~~~~

Fact of the Day): There is a such thing as Saturday school. Which I know from personal experience.


	6. We'll be Looking for Sunlight

~~~~~~~~  
"Wow." Gabriel stared at Castiel the second he walked though the door. "You look like you got mauled by angry strippers."

Castiel glared. "Thanks."

Gabriel shrugged. "All in a day's work. That was supposed to be Dean, you know. I'm not sure why you were at his locker to begin with." He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh fuck off. Our lockers are near each other." Castiel grumbled, flipping off Gabriel right when Lucifer walked in.

"Ooh, what's happening? Is Cassie finally admitting that it was his fault that the cops have us on probation for a couple of more months?" Lucifer clapped his hands excitedly. Then he saw Castiel's deadpan stare. "Ooh! What happened to you? You look so much better than usual, what brand of foundation is that? It totally matches your eyes and your gayness!" Lucifer gushed. 

Castiel groaned and just walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay. Leeks. Where are the leeks?" Dean looked up from the grocery list his mom had provided him with. "What the hell is a leek?" He glared at all the people who were staring at him because as it turned out, it really was permanent paint. Damn Gabriel and Sam.

Castiel shrugged. "I think they're kind of like shallots."

"What the hell is a shallot?!" Dean asked stuffing the list in Castiel's hand.

"How am I supposed to know? I don't eat healthy stuff!" Castiel glanced over to taller man with dark hair in the same aisle. "Excuse me, do you know what leeks are?"

He looked up. "Sorry, I've got no clue, but can you tell me what shallots are?" 

Dean threw his hands in the air. "Why are we even here?!" 

Castiel glared at Dean. "Because. You told me that you weren't going to be embarrassed by yourself so you dragged me with you." He pointed his own face which was looking worse than it was an hour ago and Dean didn't know how that was possible, considering he'd been trying to scrub off the paint.

"Oh yeah." Dean grinned sheepishly. "Oops."

"Oops" Castiel said in a high-pitched voice.

"That's not what I sound like!" Dean complained. He grabbed a pack of Skittles and threw them in the  cart, grumbling the whole time.

"That's not what I sound like!" Castiel mocked, walking away and grabbing a box of muffins. Dean just pouted.

~~~~~~~~~

Sam looked around. "Why the fuck are there three different paper towel rolls here?" 

Gabriel shrugged, little bits of sandwich crumbs spilling out of his mouth and Castiel cringed. "That's gross."

Anna rolled her eyes. "We've already had this conversation earlier. But why are the three rolls?"

Lucifer shrugged. "I didn't want to reach across the table so I got another pack out."

"Wait." Michael looked at the devil kid. "So, you walked halfway across the kitchen and opened another pack instead of literally reaching three feet for paper towels?" 

"Uh, that sounds about right." Lucifer said raising an eyebrow at Michael.

He shook his head. "You are something else." 

"That's good right?" 

"Whatever sinks your boat."

"Okay-wait. It is good? Or is that sarcasm-GET BACK HERE SO I CAN LOOK AT YOUR GORGEOUS FACE!"

~~~~~~~~~

"Where are the leeks?" Mary asked rifling through the bag that filled mostly with sour skittles and a few packs of chocolate muffins. "And why are there so many muffins?"

Dean shrugged. "I didn't know what leeks were. Cas didn't know what leeks were. The random guy in the aisle didn't know what leeks were. I like candy and I had money. It's a profitable system, you know?"

Mary rolled her eyes

~~~~~~~~~

"And then Lucifer ran over Mr. Fluffels again. For the fourth time. And that's when he finally lost his head." Castiel finished the story, leaving the rest of the lunch table wide eyed and in complete awe.

Dean walked over, not noticing everyone's faces. "Hey Cas what's-why is everyone staring? What happened?"

"We're telling the story of Mr. Fluffels. He will be forever remembered." Gabriel whispered, tearing up. 

Sam nodded, sniffling. "We loved him. He was our family."

Dean stared. "Weirdos."

"Wait." Kevin raised his hand. "Why did he run over it in the first place?" 

"Ah, who knows? Not me." Castiel shrugged. "Ask Lucifer. Maybe he'll remember." 

"Ask me what?" Lucifer asked sitting down, his mouth stuffed with garlic bread. 

"Why did you run over Mr. Fluffels four times?" Jo asked. Michael, who had just sat down, looked extremely alarmed. 

"I dunno, there was a spider on him or something." Lucifer said shrugging. 

"You don't run over a child's toy because there's a fucking bug on it!" Crowley argued. "He was the only one to love me!" 

"That's not true!" Sam said. "You've got...you've got uh, um, you've got..." He looked around. "Yeah, you've got no one, sorry man." 

Lucifer tapped Castiel on the shoulder. "Can I have some garlic bread?" 

Castiel sighed and shoved his tray towards his brother. "Yeah. Just don't eat it near me." 

"Too late!" Lucifer snatched Castiel's garlic bread from his tray. "Man. This is really good bread." 

~~~~~~~~~  
"Can't the weather make up its fucking mind?" Gabriel glared at the sky.

"It's not that bad, Gabe." Sam said rolling his eyes. He glanced at his best friend who was wearing a hideous neon tie-dyed and short sleeved shirt and a pair of shorts.

"Yes it is." Gabriel snapped. "It was supposed to be eighty degrees. It's fucking fifty Sam. Fifty." Gabriel stalked off, muttering obscurities the whole time.

Sam snorted and zipped up his jacket. "It's not my fault that your entire family told you it was going to be cold and you needed a jacket, and then I told you, at least three times, and you still ignored it." 

"It's not my fault, I'm Sam Winchester and I'm always right!" Gabriel mocked in a high pitched voice.

"You're so immature." Sam said shaking his head. "This is why you're freezing your ass off, and I'm not. Because I'm always right." 

Gabriel flipped him off. "Shut up." 

~~~~~~~~~

"Caaaasssssss." Nothing.

"Cas." Still nothing.

"Castiel Novak!" Dean leaned forward and poked his neighbor's shoulder.

Castiel looked up. "What do you want?" He glared at Dean through his glasses and ran a hand though his hair, and Dean found that he didn't regret anything if this was the outcome.

"Oh uh," Dean glanced down at the paper in front of him and shoved it towards Castiel. "I need answers."

"What you need is a brain." Castiel replied, glancing at the paper. "Really Dean? We learned this in eighth grade."

"Yeah," Dean huffed, "Well maybe I didn't do the best in eight grade math." 

"Or science." Castiel reminded him, his blue eyes bright.

"Or science." Dean agreed, still staring at Castiel.

"Or English, or geography or-" Dean cut Castiel off.

"We get it, I was bad in eighth grade." Dean crossed his arms like a five year old. 

"Was." Castiel snorted to himself, ignoring Dean's offended face. "The kid thinks he was bad at something. Doesn't realize he still is." 

"Well, if you're not helping then I'm going to find Sammy." Dean said uncrossing his arms.

"Okay." Castiel said. "You go dim your brother.

Dean pushed the chair back. "Okay, here I go." He slowly stood up. "Right now, I'm going!" Castiel just watched him amused. "Like, right now." Dean slowly walked towards the door. "And I guess I'll have to find someone else to help me." He sighed dramatically as he exited the room.

A second after he left, the door swung open again and Dean rushed back in, sitting back down next to Castiel. "Please help me?" 

Castiel rolled his eyes.


End file.
